I wake with a start… terrified… at 4am…
… not just once… but day after day after day.
4am and I’m bright as a button with terror running through my body.
It feels like a matter of life and death… like I need to hide and protect myself from a bear that’s about to appear from my walk-in-wardrobe.
I remember a friend sharing her story of being this wild young bitch wearing full leather and riding her motor bike all over the place for years…
…then one day she woke up walked up to her bike and just couldn’t get on it any more.
She had risked her life all these years mostly without raising an eye lid and all of a sudden, she was done.
… Is that what is going on for me I wonder. I have travelled internationally, spoken in different places, published an international bestseller, created an amazing brand, a wonderful team, yummy products…
… and yet here I wake at 4am several days running terrified…
Clearly, a part of me was crying out for attention…
a deep-down-hiding-in-the-dark part of me that was hiding and didn’t want to be seen… or perhaps
DID WANT TO BE SEEN.
“Failure!!! It’s you… AGAIN! BLOODY HELL! You have been lurking in the corner for days now. What do you want NOW?”
Ask a stupid question you get a stupid answer they say.
So, I listen… attentively… really wanting to understand why the heck she wakes me at 4am for the fourth time.
“Alright Failure… I’m all ears.”
“You deny my existence. You pretend I’m not real. You try to hide me as if I don’t exist. I’m an important part of you and you deny my right to be here and support you!”
“What??? When have you ever supported me? I don’t want you! GO AWAY!!!”
But you know what happens when you push someone away, they cling to you like glue. All of a sudden, they follow you EVERYWHERE. And so, did Failure.
So, I sat down and listened to Failure more closely. In fact, I listened and I wrote. I acknowledged her every time she had it her way and she won. She was a big part of my life all along.
“You are right, you are a big part of me and it’s ok. I love you. So why don’t you come out of the dark corner and sit with me here in the sunlight so I can have a good look at you. Maybe you can give me some tips.”
It was a beautiful sunny day and I could see all the nuances of Failure. I walked around her, admiring her for her power… her alluring stories she’s been telling me… so real that I end up buying into it… many ways she is having fun with me…
And the more I looked at her closely… the more I listened… the more I loved her…
Guess what? Now I keep her in eyeshot nearby… no more in the dark lurky corner of my subconscious where she can play havoc… Now she can sit with me with her pencils and drawing book, just like a naughty child that needs a new focus.
Perhaps in some ways this is what is happening for you right now. Sometimes we don’t know why we don’t move forward with a project or plan in our life or business. We blame that we are too busy or it’s not the right time or something else. Sitting on the fence is expensive and deep down you know it. It locks up your life force, your money and your time… and it kills confidence.
Why not reach out and receive loving support to gracefully move through the challenges you need to face in order to succeed? You deserve it. You need it… and you can have it.
I have just opened up my calendar for you. If it feels right for us both of us to continue working together we can decide that at the end of our call. Are you in? Come on over to my calendar and make time to speak with me now.
Talk to you soon,